Keeping it real with prayer

Last night we got a phone call from some good friends of ours that they were expecting another baby. In fact, I guessed their news before they even told us as we knew they were trying and it had been about six months so therefor in a regular family that is when you get pregnant:). The very first emotion I experienced for them was relief. I knew the wife had been a bit stressed when they didn't get pregnant within the first three months. Not many people realize this it is quite common for it to take longer than that. But as I know the pain of infertility so well, I often find myself praying for others that they will not experience what I have. I was not really surprised with their good news but rather relieved their wait was over and that they were now planning to welcome baby two into the family. It was exciting for me that I no longer feel jealousy first when I hear that someone is pregnant. I do still feel that at times but it is not first and strongest emotion I experience.

Later that same night we found out yet again that we were NOT expecting a baby. Yes, we are still trying but only for about two more months. Since we first started planning for kids Ben has been adamant that we not have biological children after I turn 40. And believe it or not yours truly is turning the BIG 40 in November. Ben is already on the waiting list for a vasectomy probably in March or April. He truly wants to make it permanent. While I don't feel as strongly as he does about this, I see his point.

So last night while I already knew in my heart of hearts that I was not pregnant it was still hard to know my short window of becoming a mom for a third time was closing. I must confess I shed a tear or two. But it wasn't the overwhelming bitter disappointment I used to experience. Rather, it was a sad acceptance of what is.

Then this morning in church we are sitting there singing about God's faithfulness and goodness and I am struck again by the need to be grateful for what I do have. These boys are just so much fun and bring endless joy to me. The love I feel for them is unlike anything I thought possible. I felt God's peace once again reminding me that I live a very blessed life and He knows what I need more than I know.

But I also felt I would put it out there to my friends and family to pray with us these next few months. I would love to have one more child. Honestly I would rather adopt again but that doesn't seem to be where God is leading this time. So I am left to hope that this body of mine would decided to work with us. It really would be miraculous if we did manage to get pregnant. Since miracles are God's job, I decided to get people to pray with us for a miracle.

I am fully convinced that if Jesus wanted us to have a baby, He could make it happen. However, I am also aware that He knows what is best for us and maybe a baby is not the best thing for our family. So if Jesus chooses to bless us with a miricle child number three, then great. If He chooses not to, then that is good too. Thanks for praying with us for either a miracle or peace as we close the door finally on more kids. That will be much harder for me than for Ben.

I know this blog post is more serious and to be honest I feel pretty raw and vulnerable putting it out there but I believe in prayer and I know many of you do too. Thanks for praying with us. I'll keep you posted.

Mental Motivation

I remember when I was a teenager we would hear motivational speakers and preachers tell us to watch out for the tape recorder (shows how long ago that was) that played in our mind. They talked about how we can let peoples negative comments or even our own negative comments play over and over in our head and really mess us up. I am a huge people pleaser so this was very true for me. I could get a compliment and it would play in my mind for a little bit. But if someone made some negative comment I would hear it over and over and over. One funny example was a good friend told me in elementary school that I had British toes. For some reason in my mind this was an insult and I would not wear open toed shoes for a very long time..I mean into high school. Even flip flops were off limits to me. To this day some of the hurtful things others said to me play in my head. Some were so absurd, like the toe comment, make me smile now. Others still hurt and I have to consciously push them away.

The flip side was they tried to teach us to put positive messages in our mind. This also stuck with me and I have really used the power of the positive to walk me through moments when I am depressed, scared, nervous, or overwhelmed. Sometimes it is like having my own personal little cheerleader in my mind.

Since I became a mom I have decided there are certain things I want to change about my parenting and the best way is to program a little saying in my head that can play and remind me what I want to be. Here are the ones I have playing on a regular basis. I pray and I ask God to bring these and others to mind to help me be the Mom my sons need me to be and the Mom I so want to be. Here is Moira's Mental Motivational Playlist.

Lighten up Lucy - this is to not take life so seriously. Just hearing this silly saying can make me smile and take the wind of my serious sails. This saying works in all areas of my life not just being a mom. There is a reason kids think grown ups are boring. Sometimes we are. We do have so many more burdens and pressures but you can learn to lighten up about them and take yourself less seriously.

Why not Mo? - this is a HUGE one and Ben and I work on this one together. As a parent you have to say no so often it almost become a habit. So when they ask if they can play with a box, shred some paper, play play-dough on the freshly cleaned table, eat an unhealthy snack, go play in the freezing cold weather, or whatever other scheme they come up with. I am starting to ask myself to pause and think. Many times I say no as I don't want the bother to clean up the mess they will make, but really is that a reason to say no. Sometimes I am nit picking them about some small personal habit that bugs me, is that really a reason to say no. Sometimes they are just being boys... running full steam, screaming and laughing at full volume around the house and it is so loud and chaotic I want to say no but why? So that I feel calm and peaceful. There are times I will need the calm or I might explode but other times I need to just let it happen.

Positive Pete not Negative Nelly - this is about looking for the great things the kids do every day. I read somewhere that for every negative comment a child hears they will need to hear at least three positive ones to overcome the negative. The boys are so special, sweet and unique it isn't hard to find things to compliment then on. They also respond so well to positive reinforcement. Sometimes I am focused on giving time-outs when they do something wrong instead of focusing on the zillion times they do that same thing right and thanking them for it. Nati especially tends to learn so much better when we can cheer him on for the right choice rather than give a time out for the wrong choice. I also include in the message to tell them I love them, that they are special, to kiss them, and tickle them for no reason at all... just because I can. I know this is working as I hear the boys and I myself saying I love you all day long. I hear Nati sitting on the potty yelling "luv you Ya Ya" It is a beautiful sound.

Short and Sweet - this too makes me smile. After 8 years as a classroom teacher I can give a lecture that will bring you to tears of boredom. I get on my soap box and list every reason why you should not be doing this or that. I can go on and on and on to the point where I am bored with listening to myself. I have noticed I do this with poor old Yared. He'll make a bad choice and I'll go back to the beginning of time to list every reason why the choice was bad and all the consequences it leads to. I see the poor child's eyes glaze over and still I go on. I might be right but the lecture is useless, pointless and rather, shall we say it, stupid. I am working on getting to the point and asking Yared why it was wrong instead of telling him. I must confess on a bad day this message has to be blaring on a fog horn in my mind for it to get through my bad habit.

My newest message is
Play every day - I teach, feed, entertain, transport, bathe, organize and supervise but do I play? They ask for it all the time. Do I take a few minutes to just get on the floor and use my imagination. I know this is Yared's love language as he can't get enough of it. He will just sit there smiling at me after I have made the effort. When I was just an Aunt not a Mom I was great at this but as a Mom I am not so great. This season when they WANT to play with me will pass soon and I want to enjoy this time no matter how tired I am.

So there you have it, that is what I am trying to play in my mind to make me a better Mom. I think they can all be summed up with being positive not negative but having short silly thoughts helps to catch me in my moments of madness and to change for the better.

Navy life at its best... good friends and seeing new places.

When Ben and I first started dating he was in Italy and I was in California. We met once over Thanksgiving and then he flew me out there for a week in February. Then we decided that I should go hang out for the summer. But what would I do while he worked? Turns out that some friends of Ben's needed a nanny for their 4 year old daughter. I would watch her in the day and hang out with Ben in the evenings and weekends. It was the perfect summer. First, my little companion was SO adorable and easy to be with. Then the Italians treat you like royalty if you have a pint sized cutie with you. I'd walk into a coffee bar with her and everyone would be jumping to give us their seats. That summer I not only had a great job and got to know Ben but I inherited many friends through him.

Fast forward a few years and we get stationed in Norfolk near to quite a few of the same friends we made in Italy. We have had some great adventures here in VA with them all. This winter we decided to rent a house in West Virginia to go skiing. This really is the fun part of Navy life. You make friends everywhere you go and even though you have to say goodbye you have a good chance of running into them down the road. We lucked out on weather and had fresh snow before and during our trip but not enough to make driving tough. It was a great time with good friends in a beautiful part of West Virginia.

This is the great place I found for all 13 of us to rent.. what a deal.

Just kidding.. this is the place we really stayed. I just liked the look of that old auto shop so had to capture it on camera.

These were some cool rocks we saw on the drive over.

Sledding - That is my now grown up version of my 4 year old buddy from Italy. Her mom informs me that I might be biased but I think she is just awesome!! She now has 5 year old twin brother and sister two weeks younger than Yared. Yared was just in heaven with two playmates staying under the same roof with him.
Yup cute as a button.
This hill was seriously steep and fast. Fun but a tad dangerous.
Good food and good friends.
After a hard day of skiing you need a hot tub. We threw the Dads and kids in there. Then they all started jumping in the snow on a dare. Even Nati wanted to do it.. notice steam coming off their bodies.

Family shot for January.
Ladies you are in trouble in about 10 years.
This is post hot chocolate.. and they wonder why I limit the magic brown liquid.
They both did great on ice skates.. seriously I couldn't believe they, especially Nati, was able to do it. This is the ice rink where Nati learned why you don't lick or slobber on metal in the winter. He manage to stick his lip to something and peal off a piece of it. We didn't' see it happen and he didn't notice it but it took us a good 10-15 to stop the bleeding.
Sledding the drive way... always a good time.

The cool long table in the house.
Nati wasn't so fond of walking in deep snow.. doesn't he look thrilled?
Down the hill behind the house. The boys called the house "our new house". I had to remind them a few times we didn't own this house.

On the ski lifts. Nati called it a "tair" and said it was "toh mush fun."
I wish I had my Nikon here to capture his cuteness but I couldn't even ski with poles and him let alone my 10 pound camera.

Good memories and very cool to realize we can ski, skate and sled with both boys now. I definitely don't want them to grow up too fast but it is nice to have the freedom for this type of adventure.

2011 Leppard New Years Family Night

I had meant to do a Family Night on actual New Year's Eve but it didn't happen so we did it this last weekend. It was a lot of fun. I started by researching party foods for New Years and found a site that said fondues are common in Europe. That led to a phone call to my wonderful Swiss friend for tips on how to make a real fondue. With her advice and some more research I gathered the supplies for a great fondue.

We started the night by getting dressed up. We figured New Years parties are often black tie affairs. A friend heard what we were doing and lent Nati the most adorable black velvet suit. We came down stairs in our new duds and did some dancing. Over Christmas we were watching some old Christmas classics and one had a Jackson 5 song. The boys fell in love with young Michael Jackson and when I reminded them that he also did the Moonwalk they requested more music. We had a Michael Jackson dance theme night. This video is just so classic as my sweet Ben is trying to teach the boys to moon walk in his grandpa slippers. Neither Ben nor I claim to be dancers in any form but the boys have natural rhythm so there is hope they will overcome our dance instruction.

We told the boys to model their fancy outfits and here is what we got from Yared.

Nati getting down to Thriller.
Loving on my little man.
Trying to do a family tough pose.
Fondue time...we also had left over Christmas Crackers so we did those again. The boys were seriously excited about this.
They were given sparkly juice in a real wine glasses. Nati just couldn't get over the fact that he got a big person's glass.
Can we say EXCITED.. look at Yared's face.
Cheers with wine and juice and little hands.
Why a wine glass isn't really made for small people.
Cracker crown.
A little more dancing.. partly so Dad could catch up on the game. I have to give Ben huge bonus points as while Family Night was happening one of the wild card games was on and it was exciting. But he faithfully jumped into Family Night and then caught the last bit of the game after bed time.
We downloaded the YMCA song as we are always singing it on our way to the Y and I couldn't remember the words.
Dancing King
We then snuck into our backyard to light some sparklers. I wasn't sure what the laws were concerning fire works so we just did them where no one could see them.
Back inside we had a random countdown to New Years. We found a timer online and hooked it up to the TV. What it really meant was a count down to the most delicious cake. But we yelled Happy New Year at each other too.
10..9...8..
ok 10:)
Then CAKE!!!! I have a favorite bakery here in Norfolk called Chocollage, that I will really miss. I went and bought a chocolate mouse cake for dessert and it was well worth every expensive cent I paid for it.
I am not a big fan of white wine as more often than not it tastes vinegary to me. But I needed some for the fondue so I found this bottle. I had to laugh at the label as so often that feels like the fun, crazy life I lead. I know these are cheetahs but I thought it was appropriate for a Leppard Family night to buy this.
A good night was had by all. Little boys went to bed with slight tummy aches due to rich cheese fondue, sparking juice and chocolate mouse cake but they were happy and sleeping within 10 minutes. Ben was able to catch the end of a great game. And me well I was left with the flush of success that I had pulled off another fun Family Night. I also was left smiling with joy that I have a husband who thinks family night is fun and kids to do them with..... what a great start to 2011. Nati summed it up well when he said, "Me luf dis famy night shooo mush."

Christmas Day

My parents called me about a month of two before Christmas and told me they had just bought tickets to come spend Christmas with us. My Dad loves surprises so he said not to tell the kids that they were coming. They were due to arrive late Christmas Eve and would come down the stairs Christmas morning and surprise the kids. It was amazingly difficult to keep this secret. I was so excited that I had to really watch what I said.

Christmas Eve we had Ethiopian food, which is a tradition we started last year. We then piled into the van and went to our church for a candle light service. I loved this growing up and love it even more now. I told the boys how fun it would be and how they would get to sing carols and hold a candle. I really built up the holding of the candle part a lot. I am glad we went as it is always beautiful singing carols on Christmas but the boys didn't get their own candles as only a few people got to have candles. Luckily I was forgiven for this when I reminded them they got to open one present at home.

We got home and opened the Christmas Eve squishy present - a new pair of pjs for the boys. Finally we tucked two very excited little boys into bed. I ran around making sure the house looked good for my parents arrival and finally close to midnight and went to the airport to get them.

The next morning we woke Nana and Babu up at 6:30 and put Nana in a giant red sack under the tree. Then Ben went and got the boys up and brought them downstairs while I helped my Dad dress like Santa. My poor parents were so tired. Mom said she isn't sure she slept at all and my Dad had to literally go put cold water on his face to wake up. But they did a great job surprising the boys. We video taped it but as it takes forever to upload the video you'll have to go my Facebook page if you want to see it:). Dad came down the stairs using his Santa voice - my cousin said he sounds more like the grim reaper. Yared has watched the video enough that he now does a perfect imitation of the grim reaper Santa voice. Yared knew that Babu was Babu as soon as he heard the British accent saying Ho Ho Ho. But Nati was very unsure and when asked kept saying it WAS Santa. We don't really push the whole Santa thing in our house so it was kind of fun to see his little imagination at work. Santa-Babu opened the sack and out popped Nana with a clown wig on. I am not sure why a clown wig but the boys loved it. We had a great day opening presents, eating Christmas dinner and just enjoying the fun of having Grandparents and grandkids in the same house at Christmas. The combination of having our sons home with us in our home, the grand Grandparent surprise and the unheard of snow storm we got on Boxing Day made this one of my best Christmases ever. I'll post snow pictures soon but here is our Christmas Day.

Nati still trying to figure out if this is Babu or Santa.
Yared as Santa.
Reading the Christmas Story.
The boys have started doing chores and get allowance. They don't really understand money much but we let them each take two dollars and pick something out at Target for each other. They had so much fun doing this. It was so sweet to watch them give each other a present and then get a Thank You hug.

They each got a new dress up out fit. This picture just cracks me up every-time I see it. I keep thinking Yared will start singing YMCA and Nati's face is priceless.


Laughing and having a great time with no sleep. I love my Mom!!
Christmas dinner with traditional English crackers.
If you have never had Crackers before you pull them open and they make a bang. Out pops a paper crown, a joke and a toy. That is why all our Christmas pictures have us in these ridiculous hats. I love them and the boys think they are cool too.




Yared got this tent for his big Christmas present from us. I heard talking while I was making lunch and found these two playing in it together. He really is the best Dad ever.
Nati got a new Curious George memory game. He skunked us all with it and grew tired of getting matches so told us "No more". My Dad wanted to know how it was possible to win when you aren't even looking at the game. It is uncanny how he knows where the matches are.